So, what next?

Call it resolutions, call it ambitions, call it fantasies.
This year, the list is a small one. but I will explain why I need to achieve it… and what makes me think i can achieve it… and whether it justifies the SMART (Simple, Measureable, Attainable, Realistic, Time-bound) criteria.

So, here goes the list:

1 – Buy a car:
This item tops my list of to-do items for the year. I have never needed a car this badly… ever.
Simple:  I know exactly what i need to buy.
Measurable: Well yeah, I can measure it with the parameters of finances, availability of desired car and availability of will to buy one.
Attainable: I think i have the necessary finances, now i need to explore the market and ride one back home.
Realistic: Absofuckinglutely
Time-bound: Although i got a whole year to buy one, but buying one within the first four months is what i seek.

2 – Pass a Certification Exam: 
I have been trying to finish this one for the past two years, I am going to make this happen this year…. for sure! 
Simple:  Yup, appear in a certification exam and pass it too. 
Measurable: I can measure it with the parameters of training, finances, and time.
Attainable: With necessary training (and hands on practice – if needed) I will be able to get it done.
Realistic: as real as me writing this shit 
Time-bound: Expecting to start my training no later than Q2, and finish in Q4 this year.

3 – Change my goddamn cellphone: 
Need to buy something that has GPRS, WiFi, Music Support and preferably a QWERTY keyboard. Not looking for something fancy, but my desirable gadget is currently available under 15K tag.
Simple:  Cellphone is a single object. No complex set of prerequisites needed to get it in your pocket. 
Measurable: Measurable within the parameters of finances.
Attainable: I am likely to get some extra income from one of the projects i did last year. So, am gonna use that money to buy myself a cellphone. 
Realistic: very much… as long as i get the promised shit from the project.
Time-bound: Q1 this year.

4 – Hit a Gym and get in some decent shape: 
You know you need to smarten up when you are in a photo-shoot and the photographer winks at you and gestures you to flatten that belly of yours so that the photograph could look decent. and the worst part?  you are the guest of honor!

No need to use the stupid SMART criteria to justify this. its a matter of honor. So, gym in the winter and additional activity of swimming pool in the summer. with serious intention of learning to swim, not just splash around like i did the past year.

5 – Feed one hungry a day (at the least)  
That makes it feeding 365 hungry a year. Not a big number but it has to start from somewhere. I intend to estimate cost of a meal that might be sufficient to feed one normal person. my estimate is something around Rs. 35-40 (though breakfasts are more cheaper). This types of initiatives are needed badly as current inflation has affected the laborer class the worst.  
Simple: Its only one time meal a day. and you dont need to serve it to the person. just pay it to a decent charity of neighborhood diner.
Measurable: Measurable easily as i intend to pay on weekly basis. i.e. pay for seven people once a week.
Attainable: very much attainable, with some strong will and greed of eternal reward, I WILL DO IT!
Realistic: sounds ambitious, but once i get started, i can make it happen.
Time-bound: Full year – broken into weekly tasks

6 – Learn something new – non techy thingy  
May be its the half a decade long desire to own and learn to play a guitar. or may be learning to speak a foreign language. the possibilities are unlimited, but it is not the case with my will.

7 – Spend some time with family.   
I know they look forward to seeing me on the dinner table, it is me – the ignorant son-  who always let them down. Perhaps it is time now to pay back the favor – to have the honor of their company. not to eat outside unless i have no other choice and actually spend some time talking to them.

8 – For the love of god, solve this Rubick cube of mine  
I wanna do this for myself.. and myself only.

9 – Recurring tasks   
Watch new movies, explore new music genres, bang my head hard listening to heavy metal, read more books,  dream about more $$$, keep blogging, keep tweeting…. etc

 

I wonder i start tracking all this stuff in MS-Project and treat it as a set of project…and publish periodic progress about these. Agreeing to this would mean more work 😦

LiveJournal Tags: 2011,New Year Resolutions,Ambitions,Resolutions,New Year

The best of 2010

The year 2010 wasn’t a very productive blogging year for me. It saw me transform from a personal blogger to a more ‘general’ blogger influenced by things that were happening around me. Although i cherish each post that i wrote, the following list take the cake.

DIY: Slaughter your own goat

Perks For Code Monkeys, How Much Is “Enough?”

Fresh Out Of A Secret Lab, I Give You…..

A Nation United…. For Pr0n

LHC : The New Hero In Town

20th May: Identify The Retards Day.

First Ever Off Saturday: My Thoughts

Valentines Mubarak

HK-101: Slacking Techniques For Programmers

Closure – 2010

Coming to an end of 2010, its time to look back what has been accomplished, what was abandoned, what needs to be done in the days to come. Here is my review of my year in my own words:

The year 2010, another ummmm interesting year is almost coming to an end. The year saw me start my transformation into a ‘family-man’. Though, me – being the cloud natured wanderer of the interwebs didn’t like it at first, but thinking deeply would leave me no other choice but to face the reality and to resign to my fate.

I started this year with a sense of hopelessness. Life didn’t seem to have a purpose except going to work, wasting time on the internet and tweeting my miseries. Though it hasn’t changed much, but there had been some good moments which need to be acknowledged.

The year primarily was focused towards work. Since the beginning, i had been putting extra hours due to tough deadlines, egoistic management and general workaholicism. However, around the mid of the year, i decided to change my job and after much extra work and failed negotiations, managed to join my current job. So, I changed my status from ‘the guy in the spotlight’ to a ‘nemo’ at a big company. I now live in the shadows, tend to work and scratch myself at the same time. The work hours have been relatively flexible but they still are long. The good part: I get to enjoy Saturdays as a non-working day.

In monetary terms, the year hasn’t been a great one. I spent almost the same as i earned. Thanks to past savings, which came in handy and saved my ass. I switched job just because i could get some extra cash and be a little more stable, but <BEEP> this life, <BEEEP> this <BEEEEEP> inflation… i don’t <BEEEEP> even know where my earnings go. No extra projects this year (at least no money from extra projects) so all i had to rely on was the income from my day job.

Family.. To cut it short, my family now lives in Karachi – with me. Dad got sick and decided to take some rest to heal himself. Living back there made no sense and by earlier December, we finally wrapped up our matters from the city of saints and moved south to the city by the sea. Renting a house (first, finding a house which ‘matched’ the choosy habits of my aging parents) was a challenge in itself but we managed to get that sorted out too. So, I write these lines from the comfort of my own bed in my very own room. My sick parents are on their way to recovery and i expect them to be in a better shape in the months to come.

No studies ever conducted this year, no proper course taken (except a training offered by my company) and nobody is to blame except my sluggish attitude. However due to changed nature of job, somethings were learnt by me which are quite a decent addition to my profile as well.

and yeah, in the end… the wild horse was caught in a noose set by my family… and on 20th of December, I got on my knees and handed over an engagement ring to Sarah – A topic which needs to be written in a separate blog post with a separate state of mind.

So, with a mixed set of feelings, i am closing this year with hopes that the last two days remain as un-eventful that i dont need to write an amended blog post. Meanwhile, I will prepare my new year resolutions, and there will be quite a few ambitious statements there…

P.S: Thanks to mum & dad for giving me rays of hope and being a source of motivation to work hard.

P.P.S: Thanks to my close circle of friends who lent me their shoulders to cry on and their faces to yell at. God bless you all.

DIY – Slaughter your goat

The following post is an act of satire. No goat was ever harmed by the mentioned way. (at least by the author). Unless you are a pro, do not try this at home.

Butchers are a rare commodity during the Eid ul Adha days. How many times have we been scammed and turned down by butchers (or cobblers, barbers, gardeners)? I am sure, most of us get screwed every year. Doesn’t that make you feel angry? don’t you want to remove the dependency of the butcher when you want to slaughter your cattle?
So, today let the joker inside of me present to you a slaughter method which removes your dependency on the butcher, in fact the method is so kick-ass that if performed with perfection, you will get your meat in your desired format i.e. meaty chunks, qeema, siri, paya etc. in no time at all. and above all, it is totally traditional (read: Pakistani).

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you: “The Jehadi’s way of slaughtering your kettle”. Here are the steps you need to perform to get your kettle slaughtered and meat done in no time.

1. Go to your local cattle farm or livestock market.
2. Choose your goat of choice.
3. Negotiate the price with the seller. If the seller doesn’t want to ‘donate’ you the goat in the name of God, kill him. God wills it.
4. Load the kettle in a loading truck. This shouldn’t be the truck you use in your ‘routine’ operations as goats may trigger any hidden switch and could take you to your 72 sooner than you had imagined.
5. on your way way back, grab a few suicide vests loaded with the latest ball bearings, nails, inflammable powder etc (the choice of filling depends upon how you want your meat served, minced, chunks or roasted)
   
   

   Protip: Suicide vests can be obtained easily throughout Pakistan. Just consult your neighbor mulla. you can also have it custom built depending upon your preferences.

6. On the day of action, get into your best clothes. call a few fellow like-minded people over. dont forget a professional cameraman.
7. Attach the vest with the goat. Make sure all wiring is attached perfectly. you don’t want to disappoint the goat and your fellow companions who are desperately waiting to devour the meat.
8. Recite your dua’s of slaughter, and press the button.. (dont forget to get into a safer place prior to that).
9. Here you go, your goat is slaughtered, and meat ready as you liked it! Ask your friends to collect the scattered meat and gather it for future use.

Optional step: Once you are done eating your stuff, yell out loud: “Hell Yeah MotherF***ers! on your face you nasty butchers, I am more bad-ass than all of you combined”.

Share the video with friends and spread the word.

LiveJournal Tags: Eid ul Adha,Goats,Slaughter,Satire,Fiction,DIY

Being a kid who once stared at goats

Eid ul Adha is just a day away. Neighborhoods are flocked with a variety of cows, goats, lambs and camels. Grown ups and young ones both are excited about the animals they have bought for the sacrifice. After all, they should be excited because buying cattle in these times is considered ‘status symbol’. But my today’s post is not about the economic aspect of owning the kettle but rather the behavioral aspect of the most excited bunch – the kids.

Well, although I am old enough that kids of the block call me uncle, I had been a kid once and had gone through the same cycle as any other kid are going though, and this is what that used to happen inside my little brain:

We as kids always forced our parents to buy the cattle for us. We would never be so obedient ever in any other part of the year but the weeks before the eid. Getting an animal meant more than meat during the holidays. It meant ‘supremacy’ over other kids of the neighborhood. I grew up in a working class neighborhood. In those days, buying a goat means that parents of that neighborhood had to save the rest of the year to put aside enough money so that they could afford an animal of acceptable size and health. So, it was not every year that each family had an animal tied up in front of their house. So, whoever lucky family managed to buy a cattle, their kids would boast around and exaggerate the price of their cattle in front of whole neighborhood (well, we still do it even today) thus resulting in lots of disgruntled kids and a intra-family quarrels.

So, once the dad has agreed to buy the cattle for Eid, the next big question was what to buy? Cows are good, big walking icebergs of beef but far out of reach… and too powerful for kids to handle. Lambs are nice, cute but too girly.. and they would only ruin my efforts to look like a macho-man, so the remaining choice was to get a goat. oh goat! they were manageable, good looking, aggressive… and horny! just the perfect animal one would like to keep.

Soon, daddy has been convinced how a goat is the next best thing after the president of the united states and how it can solve this family’s current and future problems. and on one evening, we would hear the sound of ghungroo (a jingling bangle worn on ankles) in front of our house… and lo and behold! its a goat. all covered in mehndi, ghungroo and jewelry on head… just like a bride, but not really a bride – its a goat for god’s sake.

With this, would begin the era when the animal you bought will be your gladiator, the source of your pride (or humiliation).
What would happen if a bunch of men are stranded without anything (not even their clothes) in some remote island? who would be crowned king? who would be the manliest among them all? No, i doubt if they would ever choose the brainy one (certainly not at first), but the guy who is the most powerful (and well hung) will be unanimously crowned the king of the tribe. The same case applied to us and our animals. Each evening, neighborhood kids would gather around with their animals and would take their respective animals out on a walk which was more than just a walk. it was an ultimate test for the fitness of animals they would be judged for their beauty, their health, their agility etc. . we would not judge them for the amount of meat that they might produce, but for things that dont really matter. seriously, what kind of a question is ‘my goat is more beautiful than yours?’ but in our world, beauty mattered and we would do anything to make sure that our goat looked better than others. 
Sometimes we would just let our animals fight each other off… and sometimes the owners of the animals would join the fight for glory. and the rest of the neighborhood would cheer. It would also happen that proximity of goats with each other would raise emotional feelings among each other and they would break their bonds and would involve in goat-to-goat intimate sessions, this was the ultimate moment of pride and humiliation. scores of kids would gather and cheer the goats as they struggled to take the role of dominating partners. the goat (and its owner) who lost this struggle was perhaps the most ashamed person of the day. On a similar note, goats performing auto-fellatio and drinking their own piss would again be a source of awe for the most of the neighborhood kids.

Soon, this whole party scene was over and Eid day would arrive and with them would come the butchers. And a few hours later, the walking talking beauty pageant of a goat was nothing but a delicious bowl of cooked meat ready to be devoured.

Now, almost 20 years later, things haven’t changed at all. Kids still prefer goats while adults are into cows. sacrificial animals are considered more important than saying prayers five times a day and people are still trying to beat their neighbors by buying more expensive animals than their neighbors. and as far as I am concerned, I am not that enthusiastic about walking my animal out on the roads… but still savor the sight of goats struggling to hump their fellow goats… well, old habits die hard!

LiveJournal Tags: Pakistan,Eid Ul Adha,Qurbani,Goats,Cows,Sacrifice,Nostalgia

What ‘really’ happened to farmville?

A friend of mine on facebook asked this question in his status:

Whatever happened to Farmville???? don’t see anyone posting about their "good ol’ farm" any more….

and suddenly, i came up with a ‘story’.

Here is my reply to the question which i have started to feel proud of

The Text:

the plague man… didn’t you hear about it?
it was just a fine morning like any other fine morning when the first chickens showed some signs. Instead of pecking onto their grains, they started to peck onto pigs. the pigs started to mate with the cows and a new breed of mutant pigbulls was born.
this mutant breed ravaged the farms with such ferocity that within days, farms started to turn barren, all their commodities destroyed by these pigbulls who were continuously growing stronger.

that was when ‘Zuckerbergulees’ – the supreme lord of facebook nuked farmville.

Legend says some of the ancient infected chickens and a handful of pigbulls might have survived….

[this is the preview of the script for the upcoming movie farmatrix – directed by M.Night Shyamalan]

LiveJournal Tags: Farmville,Facebook,Reply,Story,Shyaamalan,Fiction,Script

Perks for Code Monkeys, How much is “Enough?”

Whatever my current job title says about me, deep down inside I am a programmer. A die hard code monkey who has never been ashamed of his existence when people from business divisions and clients have treated me and my fellow kinsmen with arrogant attitude. I am here today by choice and so far i have never been remorseful of what i have done to be here… writing this.
Ok, thats enough for covering up esteem issues. Now to go to the real stuff that i am going to write in this blog post:

There has been serious misconceptions about our kind among the non-techies who know that “programming” is a profession. They seem to think that we are some sort of aliens who talk in languages from other galaxies (if we ever talk at all). They also think that we are living on the top of the corporate food chains by leeching resources out of them. These resources may be in form of salaries or in the form of trainings or resources that we programmers demand to fulfill our jobs in an ideal manner. While the rest of the world may call it leeching, for us these are called perks.

So, whether you are a fresh college grad who is looking for a career in programming (or any technical domain) or you may be a seasoned guru who is planning to take your life in your hands by switching to new companies, this article may help you know where you stand and what kind of perks are various companies providing for their technical personnel.

(Note: The below list is a compilation from discussion forums and may not be necessarily true as i have to believe what the member of the forum said)

So, apart from salary (which may vary according to your company, your own negotiation skills and technical abilities), companies can provide the following perks:

• No dress codes (jeans, T-Shirts, sandals etc are considered OK.) – Though this sounds fine for programmers who are working for software companies but programmers working for corporate sectors may have to follow formal dress code.
• Free Tea, Coffee (and if you are really lucky, free drinks) – ideally a coffee machine or hot water dispenser should be present in the common room with supplies so that people can help themselves.
• Flexible working hours – you just finish the work assigned to you within the deadline and no manager should poke his nose in your matters.
• Comfortable seating arrangement. – a great chair and big desk makes a helluva difference!
• Company provided laptops. or in case of desktop computers, ergonomic keyboards/mouse and large display devices.
• Subsidized cafeteria open during work hours.
• Free meals in case you stay late (or in case you have to work on holidays)
• Nap Rooms (in case you are spending extra hours on a critical project or just too lazy to go to home)
• Exercise areas/sports facilities in company premises.
• Company sponsored memberships at local health/recreational clubs.
• Mileage expense reimbursement
• Telephone expense reimbursement
• Day care center
• Subsidized concierge services like laundry, shopping, groceries, chores to banks like bill payment or electrician or plumbing services at home etc.
• Working from home
• Company sponsored credit card to be used on things that could support you on being a better programmer
• Company sponsored trainings locally and internationally
• Carpool or bike-to-work incentives.
• Pick-n-drop services
• Private rooms/offices for each one (irrespective of company hierarchy)
• Buy any book or development tools on company expense
• Company shares for discounted price
• Paid vacations
• Insurace (health, life)
• Profit sharing
• Annual/Project based bonuses

There are some additional perks which are intangible and they play a vital role for employee retention:

• Great view from office.
• Great, supportive mangers.
• Nice coworkers.
• Manageable workload.
• No Micromanaging
• No Timesheets.
• No internet filtering or corporate firewalls.
• Your opinion is valued.
• Control over technical resource hiring.
• A portion of your work schedule can be used on personal projects.
• Liberty of choosing any development tools/languages.
• Periodic changes in job responsibilities.
• Quiet working environments.

Well, this is what i was able to find around and they very much summarize what people get for working in the technical sector. So, if you are negotiating for job just remember that with right skills, you can get lots of additional perks and you should know what you have to ask for.

Well, to be frank… most of these perks make me drool coz i myself am deprived of these. But we both know what we need to do, right?

LiveJournal Tags: Programmers,Job,Perks,Code Monkeys,Programming,Engineers

That August, This August

Prologue:
August 1947: Biggest exodus of its time by the people of sub-continent after the independence. With dreams of an apparent better lives for their future generations, hordes of people emigrated from all over the colonial India to what they now call Pakistan. These people knew that they had to abandon their life savings and their homes for the sake of fulfillment of dreams that their leaders had promised them. These people were lucky enough to have their leaders on their side to guide and motivate them during this great displacement of human beings.

August 2010: Biggest displacement of the people of Pakistan since Independence in 1947.This time its a displacement from one part of the country to another part of the country. The threat this time is not that of angry mobs of other races but the raging waters of the rivers that flow through the country. This time the poor people have left their homes and belongings only to be swept away by the currents. No dreams in their eyes, only hollow hope of survival, no leader to be found to motivate them coz they are rather enjoying their vacations abroad or too busy playing politics over the dying hopes of these poor countrymen.

1 – Why O’ Why?

Now that the floods have done their damage, delving into the root causes of this massive flooding takes us nowhere. Although me and lots of others like me would say something in lines of ‘climate change’ or ‘frozen jet stream above the atmosphere’ but the illiterate masses and the ruling elite and the ever-influential mulla have found a simpler answer to this probing question and their answer is the one word that is taught to a kid in Pakistan ever since he is born…. and the word is ‘God’.

So, they say ‘God sent this flood’ and then they forget everything after saying it.

Ok, I agree with you, God sent this flood and that He does everything for a reason and that a justifiable logic exists for every action of His. Have we ever thought what was the reason for this flooding? Certainly God didnt cause this flooding because He wanted our villages to have their very own water resort eh?

This very question – once asked from the people who seem to know best (the Mulla party) – resulted in answers representing two opposite poles of logic: One group says this flooding is because of our sins and because of prolonged ignorance towards their religious and moral duties.  However, the other group is of the opinion that this is a test, and only the faithful will pass this test.

I would like to wrap up God’s logic and move on by saying that If this is a result of our sins, then we are lucky enough to be sent just a flood. we-the pakis-the scums of this human civilization have gone to such level of moral degradation that we need a far worst punishment than just flood.

2 – Our Leaders, Our Sins

Now moving on….. Thanks to a large number of news channels and their constant race to break the news first, a lot of other controversies are being brought to light and they being related to the act of utter selfishness by the “leaders” of political parties (ruling and opposing parties combined). There are numerous reports of deliberate acts of breaching of banks of rivers and canals so that water can be diverted to poor villagers’ homes so that the mansions and factories and cultivated lands of these landlords and political bigwigs can be spared (again these leaders were publically thankful to ‘God’ for not causing the damage to their personal property). These acts of selfishness were not limited to a particular area or province but were noticed throughout the country thus proving the concept that no matter if you get into a public service role, your personal interest comes first than national interest. I sometimes wonder that if there exists such a thing as God’s wrath, then these ruling elite will experience such a severe punishment that we the common people will forget our own misery. I wish… such thing existed. ah!
However our people are bigger jerks than existed anywhere. They voted to elect these people at the first place and even after being bitten times and times again, they will get bitten again. These people will forget their miseries and will again believe and cheer for the false promises that these political men will throw towards them…. and the vicious cycle will continue.

3 – A Friend in Need….
Apart from these stories, we Pakis tend to help each other in the time of need, and this behavior was observed this time as well (only not at a scale that people had expected from the fellow countrymen). Lots of local and international relief agencies are currently busy in relief activities and so is the Pakistani government (at least thats what they seem to claim). At every road we find a stall and a banner that asks the people from providing their support for the cause. However in my opinion, relief camps at every street is not a good sign at all. because:
1 – It symbolizes how much fragmented we are as a nation that we have decided to go our own way but to devise a strategy based upon consensus.
2 – The moral hazard exists about which organization or charity will provide our money to the needed people. The more the distributed ‘relief camps’ the more chances of these be used for personal gains instead of national/community benefit.
3 – Irrespective of the fact that we are sincerely trying to help our fellow countrymen, This very much signify that we have lost our faith in our government bodies or we would have rather donated to the PM relief program, haven’t we? But what i see from around here is that PM’s fund is not the ideal choice of charity. This is due to the sad truth that our government and its subsidiaries are mostly comprised of crooks who consider corruption as their inborn right and people suspect that their relief activities will end up nowhere but in their own offshore bank accounts.
Due to this distrust in others and fake belief in our own abilities, good legitimate charity organizations have felt the burnt of our distrust as well… the organizations who have all the necessary experience and motivation to help the people in need.

4 – Complications

Moving further to another section of this blog post, i am going to share my two cents on the apparent problems that have or may arise due to flood victims and relief workers. Since the victims have left their villages in search of safer grounds, they now reside at various makeshift camps without much belongings and knowledge of how to cope with this situation. Due to the unhygienic conditions and lack of available infrastructure the biggest problems faced by the victims are availability of food and healthcare services. We have already seen rising number of cholera, dysentery and skin disease patients in the camps. These diseases could result in epidemic proportions if not catered properly. In addition to this, we have also experienced brawls among the groups of victims during the distribution of rations. The animalistic instincts have started to dominate, and if the needs of these victims are not catered, the brawls would spread out in the streets as they will try to grab what they cannot obtain from the relief agencies. These needy people can easily fall victims of various terrorist recruiters who can use them for their chaotic activities.
Similar problems may face relief workers too. Although lots of us have jumped the wagon to provide relief but in reality we do not know the ABCs of relief work. The magnitude of this disaster is so huge that the faint hearted relief workers can easily lose heart and can become the part of the problem instead of being the part of the solution. We have also seen hundreds of foreign aid workers arrive in the country to help those in need. Although well experienced and equipped, they can be easily identified and targeted by the demented terror groups who would never like to miss this chance.. thus bringing more humiliation and isolation to the demented country.

…

…

Anyways, this post will keep on expanding its scope if i want to, so i would rather bring it to a halt.

Epilogue:
Somehow life will continue. Waters will recede, some of the people might return homes to pick up the threads of a suspended life, some of the people will not return. What will remain with them is the memories of what they experienced… and we collectively can make these memories either pleasant or nightmarish.

P.S: In case you want to provide support to the flood victims, act wisely. Donate to only well known international organizations. In case you are supporting any neighborhood relief agency, then please see to it that your sincere contribution doesnt fall into the wrong hands (corrupt govt officials or terrorists).
For further information you can follow the #PkFloods hash tag on twitter.

 

 

LiveJournal Tags: Pakistan,Floods,Flooding,Relief,Donations

Liberty of the nuts

Azadi: “The feeling your balls get when you take off your underwear” –Anonymous.

Today is the Yaum-e-Azadi of Pakistan. And for a nation that is no better than a bunch of nuts, 14^th
of August is a remembrance for a day that occurred 63 years ago when
these nuts were suddenly liberated from the tight shackle of the
underwear of colonial rule.

This nut nation has since then taken every advantage of being wild
and free. But a nut will always remain a nut and by that i mean it will
always remain dangling down someone else’s crotch.

Today while passing in front of mazar-e-quaid, I noticed it was a
festival there…. lots of school children were seen in the green fields
of the premises reminded me of their own lack of freedom on a day that
is being celebrated in the name of freedom. Those kids were denied a
holiday and were forced to be present by their respective schools
despite the fact that this is the goddamn liberty day. Poor kids, they
think that painting their face with national colors will mean that they
are on the top of the world and perhaps yelling national slogans on the
top of their voice still means that they have become invincible, but a
harsher reality awaits and this reality will reveal itself as you grow
up then you will realize that despite being born ‘free’, how much
imprisoned you are.

When I was a kid, we were kept under the delusion that our
forefathers were superheroes who fought hard under the dynamic
leadership of the greatest-leader-ever. However no one ever bothered to
tell us where did this ‘two-nation-theory’ (the very essence of
Pakistan’s existence) go wrong.

I simply have no other comment on this day but i will let them enjoy their nut-liberty for there aren’t much left for them.

Related Piece of Writings you might be interested in:

Pity the nation: http://burhanahmad.wordpress.com/2009/08/13/pity-the-nation/

Dear Mr. Jinnah: http://burhanahmad.wordpress.com/2009/12/25/dear-mr-jinnah/

In the end, A greeting from our sponsors:

Sailab, Mehngai, Target Killing, Ghurbat, Bomb Blasts, Military
Operations, Load Shedding aur Terrorist Activities se bach jane walay
bhookay nangay sisakte Pakistanion ko Lado Marka Sabun ki taraf se Jashn-e-Azadi Mubarak….

Reflections

and with that the clock turned to a new day. Another weekend coming up, another night for me to stay awake for a little more and a perfect night for me to spend quality time with my own self. As it grew quite and dark, my conscience took over and thus began a quiet moment of pondering over the source code of my own life- the code that has been patched and executed for almost three decades.

Result of this ‘code-review’ activity? — I dont need a patch anymore. My life need a major fucking upgrade.

But wait, Didn’t i recently change my job? Yes, but its not about the job. Its about life in general….ummm…

Today, I stand in the middle of a dusty road. The road which i have trodden since i dont know when. I feel the burden of age over my shoulders. The burden that i have to carry till i die. With a blurry past, and unforeseeable future, i am hanging onto life – though admitting my shortcomings but never wanting to change what is wrong with me.

Just then, something inside of me laughs at me and asks: "where did it go wrong?"

sigh, its all so wrong that it doesn’t feel wrong anymore. I have lowered this bar and made the wrongs of my life as the new right to get a temporary self-assurance that i am still on the right track. But this again shall come to pass and i will again forget these occasional poking of my conscience as my work and depressing news on TV will divert my attention towards more short-term goals.

Then suddenly, One day i’m gonna wake up to realize that i have turned 50. Life as i knew it has already been a thing of past and these pangs of guilt will be my mate for evermore.
If you keep on hanging onto the thread just because you are waiting for the "right time", then i am afraid you will keep on hanging as "right time" is a relative term.

So, in short. whatever our excuse is, be it economy, health, security, or laziness… this excuse better justify our lack of action or we will eventually end up in the same rat race that millions of people around us are engaged into (these people around us are probably the reason behind us being so indecisive).

I would like to conclude with the statement that our destiny lies nowhere, but in our own actions.

and when all else fails, the greatest way to change your destiny is to dream (if you are still lucky enough to have them)

Call this gibberish reflections or the truth of life, you are not likely to understand these. because this crap makes sense only when it is coming out of your own head. and the older you get, the harsher the truth (of life) is.

Damn, and i miss my cigarettes today