A little plea from an insignificant man.

31 12 2007
I don’t understand why the fuck did i ever decide to come to office with literally no public transport running in my side of the town.
Now i have to pay!

Riots have begun again in the city. People are scared to death.

Why do the trouble makers have to kill people like me. ?
Look at me, I am a no one, of no fucking significant importance.

Please please don’t kill me, don’t let me starve.
I don’t take lives, I don’t decide one’s destiny. I am just a harmless little programmer.
I don’t have the balls to harm one’s life, though my software can harm one’s business…

Please don’t kill me. Leave me and the millions like me alone.
I never cast a bad eye on your girl. I swear!, and I surely as hell don’t wanna die a virgin.
How i wanted to celebrate this new year by lighting a harmless little ciggy. ah…. but that dream doesn’t seem to be coming true.  because the ‘zaalim samaaj’ won’t let me fulfill my dreams.
If i am not allowed to dream, then "Is there somebody who could dream my dream for me ?"
.
.
.
"bus kar do … bus!"

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Hallucinations

26 12 2007
I reached home from the quickie at my home town this morning at 3:00

and i came back to office at 9:00 sharp!

you can imagine how i am going to be feeling like getting up at 7 in the morning when you slept at 4.

I haven’t slept for two nights. Last night was because of the extended journey, and the previous one because of my overdosage of fried fish that made me sweat and burn in the night. I felt totally helpless.

So, i am seeing images right now. I can hear the rattling of rails and the howling of people whom i travelled with (ah, these kids, they drive me mad :@)

I have compiled a summary of my activities at home and will post it for public viewing hopefully tomorrow.

Till then, i am going back to the images that are randomly appearing before my eyes.

Happy Hallucination!





We, the donkeys!

18 12 2007

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat +
sleep


Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy

re-arranging the equation, Human – enjoy =
Donkey + work

In other words,
Human that don’t know enjoy = Donkey that
work


Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat +
sleep

Therefore, Men = Donkeys + earn money
obviously, Men – earn money =
Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don’t earn money = Donkeys

Women =
eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore, Women = Donkeys +
spend
so, Women – spend = Donkeys
In other words,
Women that don’t
spend = Donkeys

To Conclude:

* Men earn money not to let women
become Donkeys!
* Women spend not to let men become Donkeys!
* Man + Woman
= 2 Donkeys!
** And the Donkeys lived happily ever
after!

 BURHAN AHMAD


Don’t get caught with egg on your face. Play Chicktionary! Check it out!





Eid Approaches, and so does frustration.

18 12 2007
Eid is around the corner. All around you see people’s animals (goats, lambs and cows) wandering about, littering on the streets and lawns etc.
Tomorrow’s day and then i’ll be off for the next few days. I will hopefully be going home on Thursday and InshaAllah return on the 25th. I have used the word ‘hopefully’ in my earlier sentence because i am still in a process of seeking a break on the 24th as it is a working day. a holiday on 24th mean that i will get another day off (25th). Currently my supervisor is not in a mood of allowing me to take a leave which means that if i leave for home without a leave of 24th, i will have to return on 23rd. thats frustration!

Another frustrating aspect is the fucking salary issue. I haven’t been paid the salary for the month of November and still not sure when we’re ever gonna get it. now, we ‘infidels’ (a.k.a. consultants) work at the bank where the employees get paid every 25th of the month with an Eid bonus and due to the Eid holidays, the bank paid their employees on the 17th. So, when we work at such a place with empty wallets, such an action causes extra frustration to us. Today some of us decided to go on an unofficial strike but in the end, they decided not to (A wise decision, i would say!).

So, with such a dillema, I can clearly say that my days here are numbered! I hope the next year brings some more fortune to me!





Lets talk dirty!

14 12 2007

What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman?
Sexual harassment.

What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
$3.99 a minute.
————————–
An Egyptian man is walking through the Cairo bazaar, when a stranger comes up to him and offers to sell Viagra (illegal in Egypt) for 100 Egyptian pounds.

    "No, not worth it!"

    "OK, how about 50 Egyptian pounds?"

    "No, not worth it!"

    "OK, 20?"

    "No, not worth it!"

    "How about 10?"

    "No, not worth it!"

    "Listen, these pills cost US $10 each. How can you say they are not worth it?"

    "Oh, the pills ARE worth it. My wife is not worth it."
———————-
What does Kodak film have in common with condoms?
Both capture the moment.
———————–
Why is being in the military like a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
———————–
What’s the ultimate in rejection?
When you’re masturbating and your hand falls asleep.

————————–
Why don’t debutantes go to orgies?
There’d be too many thank-you notes to write.
————————–
Can you say three two-letter words that denote small?
Is it in?
————————-
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One… Men will screw anything.
————————
How can you tell that your roommate is gay?

His dick tastes like shit.

 BURHAN AHMAD


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A visit to the Burnt-out building

13 12 2007
Caesar’s Tower once stood with all of its glory, providing an umbrella to the local IT industry. Until one fateful evening fire broke out in the building.
The building, though survived the fire, but the internal utility services were devastated. No electricity, Limited access to floors, Burnt out walls etc.
Yesterday, I visited the building for the first time since the catastrophe and what i witnessed was shocking.
I had worked there for around one year in the very building but now things looked changed – they looked alien.
I visited the building at peak timings in the afternoon but the building was quiet. The reason which i was told was that most of the offices had decided to move away because the building administration wanted THEM to pay for the damages. The building administration took no responsibility in compensating for it. There was no electricity and our office was running on generators. The whole floor was deserted except for our office.
The walls were pitch black. only one little patch was white where there once had been a paper stuck to it. One that very white spot, someone had written ‘Surf Excel’ with a pen, which brought a smile to our faces.
I wonder what would be the impact of fire on the extravagant ‘Revolving’ restaurant. ah, i feel sorry for them.

That indeed was a sorry site to visit. Once a very lively building was like a haunted mansion where the ghost of IT wanders in the corridors wondering what has become of our software industry ?





Maddy goes to Hajj

11 12 2007
My best friend has decided that his 900 mice are up, and its time to get sober. So, Maddy has gone today to the holy land to perform Hajj.
May Allah purify his soul and let him be a guideline to all of us.

On a lighter note, He used to be the guy that I used to call on weekends and to chat with him on all sorts of stupid and more stupid issues. If he gets sober, who am i gonna hook up with ???? Man, either I have to get sober (which is quite unlikely) or have to bid adieu to his friendship. Damn,,, I will not call him to throw out my frustration any more…. 😦 Thats sad.

All the best to you, May you re-discover your lost soul.