Recalling the memories of Shab-e-Barat

30 08 2007

Last night was shab-e-barat.

The night when the fate of all humans is decided… like how much will each of us get… will we ever get the time to live the year or will our leaf of life fall from that tree of heaven….So, while everything was being decided up there, People were either busy saying prayers or busy in the ignorant practice of lighting fireworks.

I was doing none of the above mentioned acts. I was just watching the pious people go to mosques and on the other hand i was watching the other genre of people blow up their good deeds in form of firecrackers… Just the sight of those ‘phuljadhi’ and ‘patakhas’ reminded me that i was one of them not too long ago and thus i decided to move back in time to cherish those moments when life was just a game. so, here i am writing about the days of the past…

I was inspired by the firecrackers and the aerial fireworks that children of my age used to blow on that night and this made me join them on a night when the sensible people used to stay awake till late just to seek forgiveness. I was a school kid then, on this night like minded kids used to contribute and used to buy crackers and then we used to take it out on our stubborn neighbors. our victims used to be those people of the neighborhood who were not liked by the gang- such people who used to ask the security of the colony when we kids used to party, who used to stop us from playing on the streets and those who had pretty chicks in their houses… We used to bombard their houses with firecrackers and used to run away disappearing into the haze of the night.

On one such occasion i decided to celebrate out of my neighborhood. I was invited by my school friend and long time crime partner Maddy….(three cheers for him.. Hip hip hurray….) We bought lots of patakhas and golas and when set out in the dark streets of Wah Cantt to blow off the bombs. We were deserted by other pals but the two of us continued…. On that night we set off a cracker and someone yelled ‘catch em’ and we heard the running footsteps… We ran like hell. we ran and ran until the street ended and a mid-sized ground faced us. We jumped in……….’Oh Shit’ we both said in unison coz we had realized that the ground was actually a freshly ploughed field (‘khet’) and it was too muddy that our feet were buried till our toes but we had to run for our lives, we somehow managed to escape that field with our legs covered in mud but we took a sigh of relief when we thought that we had made it to safety. Though that night passed but the memories remained… and probably will remain till the leaf with my name falls from the tree.

So, last night by watching our neighborhood kids doing the same reminded me of myself. I used to be like them, i was the playa’ and this was just a game… and now i am just a spectator. unnoticed and just watching quietly.

The list is now empty

27 08 2007

One list that I always want to see empty is the ‘Bug List’ on the bug tracking software…

and today… Ladies and Gentlemen! We have achieved a miracle…….

My Bug list is empty today. I have done it …. finally


Those who know what i mean, know about the joy that i would be feeling today…. I have nothing more to say… except "yahooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"

Just Lost 2 days

27 08 2007

My fee voucher was a whole month overdue.

I decided to rush to the bank today to pay it off. Went to the adjoining ATM to withdraw money and then went to the counter to pay. Paid him 6500 while the voucher was of 6300. and guess what ? I fucking forgot to take back the money…

I realized about this mishap when i was almost at my office. I was far enough from the bank that returning back was not feasible. shit!

now a days my daily expense is around 100 a day so losing 200 means that i lost two days’ expense. crap! its the end of the month and i have no idea when i will get my salary next month, so its harsh time ahead of me. 😦

just for the afterthought, i just remembered that i am not so dumb afterall. the banker at the counter didn’t return me the remaining 200. yeah, he just signed on the voucher and stamped it back to me. and the 200 that i have been crying over were not with it… oh, whose fault is this by the way ??? i have no one else to blame but myself.

Saturday…. Rains and No Holidays

25 08 2007

Its raining again today…

The whole area near my office is a fucking mess. mud, water, sewerage and traffic. The Wall Street of Pakistan is more of a dirty alley of the Sabzi Mandi.

How long will this rain continue ? I am bored and tired of this shit.

Its a saturday and here I am at my office with no hope to leave on time. One day i get to spend a holiday and it is totally ruined because major markets, banks,offices are closed on sunday and you have nothing else to do but to watch TV. My University voucher is one month over due and i MUST pay it by the end of the month… ahhh,…

My Semester Result

24 08 2007
Course Code Course Name Marks GPA Grade
ECO401 Economics 71 3.4 B
ENG301 Business Communication 77 3.8 B
MGT502 Organizational Behaviour 75 3.67 B
MGT603 Strategic Management 77 3.8 B


I passed the four exams i attempted this semester…. and overall GPA is now 3.42 (thats an improvement)

The Kite Runner – A Summary

23 08 2007

This is a summary of the novel ‘The Kite Runner’ by Khaled Hossaini. I finished reading it a few days back and decided to write a summary for those who don’t want to read the whole novel for themselves.


Amir was the son of a land lord. His dad was a famous person in Afghanistan before the Russian invasion of Kabul. He was very much attached with his servant’s son Hassan who was of the same age as Amir. Their friendship was very much appreciated by both the land lord and the servant family but some of the other boys of the neighborhood didn’t like it. One day while Amir was strolling with Hassan when a couple of bullies led by a guy named Assef from the neighborhood tried to mess around with them, Hassan showed bravery and scared then off, before leaving the boys threatened both Amir and Hassan that they will not forget them and will have their revenge.

A couple of years later, during the annual kite flying festival, Hassan chased the last kite of the evening and Amir followed. He found Hassan at the end of an alley where he was surrounded by the same guys who had once threatened them. The boys demanded the kite which Hassan denied, in turn Assef with the help of his accomplices raped Hassan. Amir didn’t do anything but ran away like cowards. Since that day, Amir tried to avoid Hassan and planned to get rid of them.

On his birthday, he framed Hassan for stealing his watch and some money. On inquiry from Amir’s dad, Hassan admitted that he had stolen the watch and the money. Amir’s father said that he had forgiven Hassan but Hassan’s father requested that He and his son to be given release as they wanted to leave for their home town. Amir’s father begged them not to leave but they had made the decision. So, Amir’s dad had no other choice but to let them go.

Soon afterwards, The russian invasion caused Amir and his father to escape to Pakistan and then to USA where they had to work hard to make a living. Amir continued to study in creative writing as he intended to be a writer when he grew up. On one day, he met his soulmate but in the mean time, his father was diagnosed with cancer. Before dying his father made sure that Amir and the girl Surraya were married.

Time passed and Amir became a professional writer and his memories of the past days faded. One day, a letter came from Pakistan which was written by his father’s ailing friend Rahim Khan who requested Amir to meet him for one last time. Amir traveled to Peshawar to meet him. Rahim told Amir that Hassan was Amir’s half brother – An illegitimate son of Amir’s father. After Amir and his dad had fled to USA, Rahim lived in their house and requested Hassan who had grown up and gotten married to stay with him. Hassan had a boy named Sohrab. In the meanwhile, Taliban had taken control of the country and were imposing extremism to the masses. One day, Taliban killed Hassan and his wife and the boy Sohrab was sent to an orphanage. Rahim Khan requested Amir to bring Sohrab back to Pakistan as it was safe for him to live in Pakistan. In the end, Rahim told Amir that he knew about the framing of Hassan by Amir and reminded him that Amir could get out of his guilt by favoring Hassan’s son. Amir agreed.

Amir travelled to Afghanistan and managed to reach the orphanage but found out that one Taliban commander had taken Sohrab with him for the purpose of adultery. Amir managed to arrange a meeting with the leader and requested to take Sohrab away for money. The Taliban leader was none other than Assef who had once committed the inhuman act with Sohrab’s father. Assef said that he had scores to settle with Amir so he offered a fight. Anyone who wins will take the boy. During the fight, Amir got the beating of his life and as he was about to be hacked into pieces by Assef, Sohrab jumped in (just like his father had done years back) and with his slingshot, took the eye out of Assef.

Amir somehow reached Pakistan back and tried to put Sohrab to some orphanage but didn’t succeed. He decided to take him to USA but the embassy didn’t grant the visa to Sohrab. Sohrab was frustrated so he tried to commit suicide. However, his life was saved but since that day he didn’t say a word. Somehow, Amir brought sohrab back to his family on humanitarian visa but Sohrab had completely shut his mouth. They finally gave up to make him speak.

On one Afghan national day, there was a kite flying competition. Amir was taken over by old memories and he decided to fly a kite. Sohrab eyed him keenly. Amir was successful in winning the kite fight and he noticed a speck of smile on Sohrab’s face but it faded instantly. Amir had found his big break. As the kids were running to catch the kite, Amir decided to rekindle his memories and ran after the kite ad he beleived that such an action will bring the smile back to Sohrab’s face some day…. so, he ran…


So, the novel ends here… Before this post ends, I am going to copy and paste a few lines from the book which i really liked:

I throw my makeshift jai-namaz, my prayer rug, on the floor and I get on my knees, lower my forehead to the ground, my tears soaking through the sheet. I bow to the west. Then I remember I haven’t prayed for over fifteen years. I have long forgotten the words. But it doesn’t matter, I will utter those few words I still remember: ??La ilaha ii Allah, Muhammad u rasul ullah. There is no God but Allah and Muhammad is His messenger. I see now that Baba was wrong, there is a God, there always had been. I see Him here, in the eyes of the people in this corridor of desperation. This is the real house of God, this is where those who have lost God will find Him, not the white masjid with its bright diamond lights and towering minarets. There is a God, there has to be, and now I will pray, I will pray that He forgive that I have neglected Him all of these years, forgive that I have betrayed, lied, and sinned with impunity only to turn to Him now in my hour of need, I pray that He is as merciful, benevolent, and gracious as His book says He is. I bow to the west and kiss the ground and promise that I will do _zakat_, I will do _namaz_, I will fast during Ramadan and when Ramadan has passed I will go on fasting, I will commit to memory every last word of His holy book, and I will set on a pilgrimage to that sweltering city in the desert and bow before the Ka’bah too. I will do all of this and I will think of Him every day from this day on if He only grants me this one wish: My hands are stained with Hassan’s blood; I pray God doesn’t let them get stained with the blood of his boy too.

I hear a whimpering and realize it is mine, my lips are salty with the tears trickling down my face. I feel the eyes of everyone in this corridor on me and still I bow to the west. I pray. I pray that my sins have not caught up with me the way I’d always feared they would.

Chotay logon ki Choti baatain…. Part II

21 08 2007

a continuation of my previous post ‘Chotay logon ki Choti baatain….’

  • While returning to home from the bowling and dinner, our gang talked about various showbiz personalities and fantasies about them.. 😉 (you know, the routine guy stuff) the general consensus was that that among the chicky singers, ‘Annie’ is sizzling hot! with the exception of her voice… but who cares of voice as long as she keeps the upper hole shut! hehehe…. we also concluded that Hadiqa is getting hotter and hotter and one of us remarked that during a recent independence day music show, her appearance had really excited his Ballu Raam (*blush* – you know what i mean… *blush*) then the discussion diverted towards hot showbiz aunties and our verdict was on Mahnoor Baloch closely followed by Atiqa Odho…. i wonder how have they maintained themselves after all these years of banging and ramming…
  • So, today i decided to break the ice. I couldn’t stay away couldn’t keep my hands off so i just did what i should have not given up for the sake of my rotten ego…
  • And i am now on cigarettes full time, one after dinner is a must but i appreciate one after lunch too.

Ok, this finally concludes this chotti chotti batain.

Chotay logon ki Choti baatain….

20 08 2007

Just small things that happened that are totally independent to each other but somehow worth mentioning….

  • My Nana’s chehlum happened last day. Had a Quran Khwani followed by dinnner which i escaped from…
  • Had a long anticipated get together when the nigger gang with the masterplan gathered and chilled out… A well celebrated few hours at the bowling Alley and the discounted dinner at Pizza experts. Zee winning the show as usual…. yours truly stayed in the end.
  • My family will finally leave for Multan today. Thus a month long relaxation will come to an end. Now i have to wake up on my Alarm’s call or I am definitely going to miss the bus to office.
  • Last week, someone mistakenly sent 20 rupees to my prepaid cellphone account. The guy had the same number as mine but with the 0334 series. He mistakenly sent it to 0333 series and i got the credit…
  • My expenses rate remained soaring high for the consecutive two weeks. This MUST be brought down or i am doomed.

Thats all for now folks, stay tuned to my exclusive news channel.

An poem for the wretched of this land.

16 08 2007

This is an excerpt from the first page of the book ‘Military Inc.’ which unveils the corruption by the defenders of the country. This is a poem that the writer has presented us with. I want to share it with all of you who read this:

We shall live to see,
So it is writ,
We shall live to see,
The day that’s been promised,
The day that’s been ordained;
The day when mountains of oppression,
Will blow away like wisps of cotton;
When the earth will dance
Beneath the feet of the once enslaved;
And heavens’ll shake with thunder
Over the heads of tyrants;
And the idols in the House of God
Will be thrown out;
We, the rejects of the earth,
Will be raised to a place of honor.
All crowns’ll be tossed in the air,
All thrones’ll be smashed.
And God’s word will prevail,
He who is both present and absent
He who’s beheld and is the beholder.
And truth shall ring in every ear,
Truth which is you and I,
We, the people will rule the earth
Which means you, which means I.

Faiz Ahmed Faiz
America, January 1979

This independence day

14 08 2007

"This is for you my beloved land", I thought as I jerked off last night. The salute of 21 canons. 😀

It was 2:00 in the morning of the 14th of August, and the gunshots in celebration of the independence day had already ceased. The silencer-less motorbikes had already been halted and the loud speakers playing national songs had silenced. People were finished with their celebrations and it was time to enjoy (or sleep) in silence.

Just the thought of this celebration brings a void inside me. What do we have to celebrate for ???

I remember a week ago when i was sitting with a friend on the Tomb of the Quaid-e-Azam and we saw a bike rider carrying a huge flag. My friend asked me (as if self-talking) "I don’t know what they have to celebrate if for. What have we done in the past 60 years that we are proud of celebrating the independence day ?".
"Perhaps its not the pride", i answered. "They are celebrating because they have realized that this could be the last independence day this country is seeing".

Last evening was another proof of what this fucked up nation deserved. Almost whole of the city was jammed on the roads. The reason was that the big kuttay (leaders) had taken their smaller kuttay (political activists) out on the streets for political rallies and had made roads a place for their fucked up speeches and jalsay juloos. I remember walking on the MA Jinnah Road for nearly half and hour and the traffice was so stuffed that hardly any vehicle moved. I saw empty buses whose passengers had waited long enough and had decided to continue on foot.  I saw a few ambulances who could have done nothing but curse this government for such amazing arrangements. I wonder what would have happened to the patients they were carrying; just the thought of it gives me shivers.

Up lately, living in this country has become a disgrace by itself. Its corruption everywhere, its hyper-inflation everywhere, absolutely chaotic environment and lifeless life. Just yesterday, our building was evacuated in emergency as there was a bomb scare in the building and i saw people evacuating from the building as if they work day has ended, totally relaxed and no sign of any scare. They have learnt to live with this situation, they know that life is the God’s gift and He will take it away anytime and sooner or later it will be a bomb or a stray bullet that is going to end this life.

Is this the uncertainty of turmoil or the turmoil of uncertainty ? who knows, who cares ?

Though this country has given me a free life, a respectable job, a homely environment and i am thankful to God for whatever He has blessed me, I have never felt more hopeless for this country ever before. and I am beginning to suspect that this could be the last independence day this country might see.

So, God! would you please let us live for a lil longer ??? this country needs some of your attention before its too late for all of us.

So, whatever happens, its the will of God. (what is the will of America, by the way ?) I pray to the God that all my suspects are just hoaxes and that the land of the pure will progress more and more in the days to come. – Amen.


Jashn-e-Azaadi Mubarak.