~~~ The Joys of Orkut ~~~

28 04 2006
I don’t know when Orkut came into being, I am least interested in this type of crap.
I came to know about Orkut when a friend invited me to Orkut last year (Yeah, i have been too dumb to know about it at the first place).
I thought of Orkut as a match making site or some dating stuff where you could find chicks from around the globe waiting for the Ultimate Prince Charming — ME!
Thinking on the same pattern, i joined Orkut and became a member.
Created my profile, and waited for the Chicks to come to Daddy!
one week—- no chicks, two weeks — no chicks,            DARN What the Heck is happening ? WHere’ve all teh chicks gone ???
Then, I realized that Orkut is not all about chicks, its about social networking.     You join communities that you like and then you meet people who are like you  (same as you make friends in real world)….
SO, i changed my strategy and started joining communities where i could find chicks.. lol
but due to my timid personality, i didn’t have the balls to scrap a chick so i contained myself in reading their profiles and watching their pics.
 
During this process, i joined the communities of my old town, my school and college just to keep the memories alive…
 
A couple of scraps a week was all that my schedule and interest could allow me.
 
One day, as i logged on to my messenger, i got a friend request from someone….
"Hey I know that Name!!!"…. and allowed that person who was an old school mate. He claimed that he found me on Orkut’s school community and took my email address from that place.
 
Well, this was the beginning!
and it had just begun!
 
Then  i realized the REAL power of social netowrking.
The other guy knew a few of old school fellows so he shared his addresses with me and i did the same.
soon, all the folks were involved in Orgies (oooops sorry…. group conversation is the correct word that i wanted to say).
 
One thing led to other until yesterday, i found someone who i thought had vanished in the sands of time.
"Man, This Orkut thing is FOR REAL"…. I responded.
"I now believe in the Power of Social Networking".. another response from my almost dumb brain
 
Whether you call it a re-union or picking up the threads of an old life Orkut has done it for me.
Now, i know why i joined orkut at the first place.
Its not about the chicks, Its never about the chicks, for chicks come and go but my friends remain eternal!
 
Now i sit hundreds (some of them are thousands) of miles away from that little town, but we sit in a same room chatting away like the old days.
 
 
Thanks You Orkut. You ‘ve been a star of my Life!
 
Luv Ya All!
 
 
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Golden words of my Favorite Character

20 04 2006
Johnny Bravo happens to be my favorite cartoon character.
Johnny Bravo is a way-cool, rico-suave kinda guy. Not only does this dude have extremely tall hair, huge muscles, and a disproprtionate body, he is always drooling after "chicks".
 
he also has all the best pick up lines. Here are some of his best:

"Hey–wanna see me comb my hair really fast?"

"Hey there, Spanish seniorita. Sprechen se love?"

"Hello, teen hotline. You’re boyfriend left ya’? Why, what are you wearin’?"

Hey you sassy thing ….you must be a shrink because only you would know I’m a legend in my own mind.

Hey baby, gimme your address and I’ll send you a picture.

I got you a birthday present ….me!

Hey baby, I can tell we both love the same things ….me!

Lady: "How many times do I have to tell you I have a boyfriend?!"
Johnny: "Well, you look like the kind of girl that could use two."

"Pardon me, hot sexy mama. If you’d please to take a look at my, (whoosh) Hya, studly bod, (whoosh), then I may have the pleasure of you wanting to be my number-one main squeeze."

"Say there, pretty air mama, didn’t you see me in your dreams last night?"

"If loving me is wrong, you don’t wanna be right!"

"Man, it must be great being you watching me!"

"Hey babearilla, that a pretty eensie-weensie, teeny-weenie polka-dot thingy you got going there."

"Come and get it, ladies. I’m yours for the takin’!"

"Hey all you hot mamas. Wanna talk to a steamin’ hunk of cyber fella?"

"Hey there, cutie pants. Am I as studly as the Statue of David, or what?"

"Oh, baby! I’m going to make your dreams come true!"

"(whoosh)Hya! Dreamy hunk, right here!"

"You wanna frisk me?"

"(shoom)Hey, how’d you like to watch the show in 3-D, sweet thing?"

"Wanna get lost with me (whoosh)?"

"Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, let’s roll in the hay."

"I’m gonna say, ‘Hey hot mama, wanna go back to my place for a game of Twister?"

"I bet your name’s Mickey, ’cause you’re so fine. You’re so fine…(whack)."

"Hey there, foxy hygiene girl. (whoosh) I love a babe with minty breath."

"All right. I guess that makes me the object of desire, huh baby?"

Johnny: "Excuse me, miss." Lady: "(gasp!)" Johnny: "How’d you like to paint the town red with a happenin’ hipster?"

"Hey there, miss. I’m Johnny B. Wanna spend the day with me?"

"Whoa. Man, you’re pretty!"

(at computer)"Hey there, smart mama."

"(sniff, sniff) You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me?"

"Say, how ’bout you and me sharin’ a soda right now?"

"You’re steamin’ baby! You too. And you. And you, pretty man. Oh man, time flies when you’re having fun."

"I’m a dancer, a romancer, you’re a capricorn, i’m a cancer!"(don’t those ads of Johnny "hitting" on the viewer crack you up? :+D)

"Wanna feel my muscles? Only a dime a minute!"

Hey baby you look like you’ve got Bravo fever and I’m just what the doctor ordered!

Hey mama a Bravo a day will keep other men away!

Oh, baby it’s time for desert ….how ’bout some Bravo beefcake.

Hey Baby, you want to play some baseball … I’ll even let you steal 2nd.

Oh momma, it’s time i let you in on a secret …..I’m Johnny Bravo!

Hey baby, don’t walk away …you’re headed in the wrong direction. My house is this way. (slap)

You foxy momma’s look like you need a bedtime story ….how about you ladies come back to my place and I’ll read you Bravo and the 3 babes. (slap) (slap) (slap)

Hey baby, If this shoe fits then i must be your cinderfella!

Well baby what’s it like looking at the man of you’re dreams?

That’s right baby ….believe it or not ….all the best men aren’t married.

Can you guess how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Bravopop (or Johnnypop …whatever you prefer)?

Oh Momma, I’m so sweet that I’ve got a mouth full of cavities.

 
*****************************************
 
Thanks for someone for compiling it on the internet, I have just used the quotes.
Thank you whoever you are, whereever you are!
 




Anthem of the Promised Land

17 04 2006
Nigger!
I know i am going down
Straight to HELL
 
Why ?? Don’t ask…
I am a perfect match for an ideal candidate
 
Yeah, I have reserved my luxury apartment there.. Have You ?
Better be quick coz time and space is running out!!!
 
 
Anyways, i love the way AC/DC have sung their famous hit: "Highway to Hell".
And i am gonna write the lyrics of this amazing song… which truly is an anthem to the people like us…
 
 
 
 
Living easy, living free
Season ticket on a one-way ride
Asking nothing, leave me be
Taking everything in my stride
Don’t need reason, don’t need rhyme
Ain’t nothing I would rather do
Going down, party time
My friends are gonna be there too

I’m on the highway to hell

No stop signs, speed limit
Nobody’s gonna slow me down
Like a wheel, gonna spin it
Nobody’s gonna mess me round
Hey Satan, payed my dues
Playing in a rocking band
Hey Momma, look at me
I’m on my way to the promised land

I’m on the highway to hell
(Don’t stop me)

And I’m going down, all the way down
I’m on the highway to hell

 
 
 
 
 
 
 See you there!




Army without a GENERAL

7 04 2006
***************************************************************************************
I Truly appologise if you can’t understand what i want to say.
But this is true and those who have an idea of what i am going through know it exactly
***************************************************************************************
There were soldiers, brave and valiant…
Under the single flag, they unified.
At the yell of their generals they attacked.
For years, they fought and died… but it was a good death.
But the years and months started to take their toll,
The soldiers got weary and their patience started to get thin.
The reason of this attitude was the continuous exposure to failures. They were sent to various fronts but the war that they had joined didn’t seem to end.
Finally, the soldiers had had enough, they couldn’t endure the pain, the suffering.
The final blow came when they heard of a weapon so fierce that it could wipe out their very existance.
They couldn’t bear it further and one by one, they started to leave…
The Generals tried to command their troops but the chaos had already been injected into the minds.
This chaos also affected the minds of the Genrals, and the once IRON WALLS started to crumble.
One Generals quit, then came the second and the third….
The chaos continued..
Darkness got more dark…
and suddenly, the remaining loyal troops realized that their whole chain of commanders has broken,
the commanders were no longer incharge, the soldiers were no longer following…
Is it really an army who has no commanders ?
I guess not.
Being a soldier in such army means mental torture, the inevitable is near, soldiers don’t trust each other, they think that the one walking besides them is a traitor himself and he could dump him at any time.
 
aren’t the Generals supposed to think good for their troops ?
or are they just mere humans who could run away for the hills to save their asses and let the low-life soldiers rot in the battleground.. ?
 
from the army that i belong to, i think the latter assumption is the best.
Gone are the days when it was an honor for a General to die in the ground among his soldiers, yet they award such generals with medals who desert their troops.
 
 
Well, guys!
its time to build your ark.
Run away,
Fly away you fools.
 
Fuck your Generals and this war that you are fighting, they deserve this!




Windows: Virus or Not ?

6 04 2006
With the recent problems being encountered by Windows users all across the country, people are begin to ask themselves if windows is a virus. In response to the high demand for an answer to that question a study was done and concluded the following.

1. Viruses replicate quickly.
Windows does this.

2. Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so.
Windows does this.

3. Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk.
Windows does this.

4. Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems.
Windows does that too.

5. Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware.
Same with Windows, yet again.

Maybe Windows really is a virus.

Nope! There is a difference!

Viruses are well supported by their authors, are frequently updated, and tend to become more sophisticated as they mature. So there! Windows is not a virus.





ah.. Decisions Decisions…

3 04 2006
ah………..
and it comes to my frail shoulders again.
Another decision that i must take to go on…
I can see a branch in my way
One section takes me forward to the same path where i am now with worries about the near future, with un-certainities hovering around ominously over the horizon.
The other branch in the way takes me into a totally new terrain; A path that i have never travelled before neither have i known about….
 
What to do ?? What ?
What ?
What ?
WHAT TO DO……….?
O GOD, Give me the wisdom to choose the right path… GIVE me the light to guide my way ….
 
 
The new path will ensure me to move on for atleast two years but i don’t know where it will take me.
the current path… might take me no where..
 
Time is running out for me and so is my ability to decide and choose…
 
I can only remember a quote from the movie Matrix Reloaded:
 
 
"The door to your right leads to the Source, and the salvation of Zion. The door to your left leads back to the Matrix, to her and to the end of your species. As you adequately put, the problem is choice. But we already know what you are going to do, don’t we?"
 
 
I guess, the decision has been made
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Till my next post,
It is DJ Johnny Signing off!