2005 – A year in review

31 12 2005
Its December the 31st.
 
In just a few hours the year 2005 will end with a new year, new hopes, new resolutions, new me ? but the same old loser.
 
as i grow into a more and more loser, lets take a quick walk back to this year. like what i tried to do, what else did i fail in, what were my successes (if there were any) and blah blah…
 
 
The year started with me preparing for IELTS (ah, another attempt for a bright future). I intended to do it so that i could climb up the ladder of a better life.
At the same instance, i was working as a Software Engineer at Softronix, Multan. At the start of the year, i made a resolution that i ‘ll quit the office by the end of this year.
Ok, coming back to IELTS, i prepared for it with great commitment and appeared in the exam on 15th of January.
After appearing for the exams, i went to Karachi for a Eid holiday. I was totally unaware that i’ll be moving in for a good part of my life.
 
As soon as I returned from Karachi, i got the opportunity to join a Textile mills in Faisalabad. I went there appeared in the interview, got selected but didn’t proceed for the job as i didn’t think the salary was a handsome one…
Early in February, my IELTS results was announced. I can still hear the phone call by my mom telling me that my result has arrived… I wasn’t prepared for what she told me: 8.0?? NO NO NO, you cannot be serious. Unexpectedly, i did it with very very good grades… ah, loser me!
 
I kept on working at the company and the evening job and this excessive work was really screwing my mind. I found ways to escape the work…. but of no awail.
In March, I got a break when i was selected for the final interview at UBL. I went to the interview but didn’t get any post interview call.
 
In May, I received my Interview call from the british high commission. This could be my big break…. i thought but i was screwed by the interviewing officer. He rejected my visa on grounds that seemed correct. he he LOSER LOSER YOU LOSER SOB!
 
In July,I was called to Karachi for an interview. I applied for jobs at two companies. I appeared in both the interviews and got selected. Now i faced the harder task of deciding one company for my career……… huh decisions, decisions!… I chose AMZ Access as my career place.
 
So, i had got my break. My new year’s resolution finished (accomplished). I resigned from my work place and moved to Karachi to seek a better future.
 
 
Well, good or bad or whatever. My job description was different from the previous one and my timings even tougher……………………
 
well I sit at my workplace pondering the source code for last year (its a lot of lines of code, baby)
 
 
i hope the program i develop for the new year runs smoothly (no runtime errors.)
 
 
all for now….
lets go home and sleep for the new year’s night
 
LOSER ME!
 
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Really!

27 12 2005
No way!
you must be kidding!
 
 
get outta here loser!
 




The blame game begins!

27 12 2005
This one is directly related to my workplace.
 
So, i once did a project for some internal department.
 
I worked my ass out for that project and managed to create a deliverable finally.
 
The project was delivered at 8 in the morning (yeah, i worked all night last night) and those fucking assholes implemented it on live grounds at 5.
No Testing, No Training and the end users were total JERKS!
 
I had to be screwed, and screwed I was!
 
I got screwed big time!
 
now as another night passes its way towards the dawn and i wonder if i could get one in my life…
 
ok, talking about projects and blames, the prjoect suffered a major shock and was turned out of the production.
then started the game everyone calls as THE BLAME GAME!
 
The affected party blamed the implementors and implementors raised their fingers at me
 
in the end, every big shot at my workplace thinks that this lone programmer was responsible for every shit happening….
 
I think they might be correct.
 
well, johnny boy! you have got yourself screwed at a big place and this scar might stay on your ass for the rest of your lives.
 
FUCK YOU!
 
 
 




Christmas Eve (or early morning)

25 12 2005
Yeah,
The last festival of the year
The Christmas…
Its finally here………… Today.
 
 
I was under the illusion that my AMERICAN company would grant me these well deserving holidays for Christmas and new year so that i could finally take a few days off from work and spend some peaceful days with my folks. but it would not be and guess what? Its sunday morning and the obedient loser finds himself working out the solution.
 
Ah… Illusions. they are just illusions. Far from reality which dawns itself everytime I open my eyes on my bed
 
Reality, which asks me to get dressed and get my ass back to the desk where i have to spend the next 12+ hours.
 
Sometimes I wonder that for how long am i going to go on like this? how far is the day when i am going to climb down those stairs one last time ?
 
Maybe not far away…….. Yeah I can sense that!
One way or other, i’ll show my finger or they will show theirs.
 
A loser loses again……… fair deal!
 
Ok, enough of the crap.
I’ll have to go back to my work where a data extraction utility is extracting data from a remote server and giving me some time to write this shit.
 
 
 
Tonight i listened and requested on the online radio channels. atleast you should get something to eat.
Talking about eating, I was lucky enough to grab a few morsels from a Christmas party at my office.
but i wasn’t able to join them for long because DUTY CALLS!
 
anyways,
Merry christmas to whoever reads this. I give a fuck, whether someone reads this or not. Atleast i might find time in the next 10 years and might recall these days when i used to spend all nights doing nothing!
 
Greets!
 
And I disappear/
 
 
 
 
 
 




A lot to write

17 12 2005
Today is yet another saturday.
Yes, its a blog day.
I am writing after quite some time coz i had been busy like an ox
here is a recap of what i did in the gap:
* I made that shit tool which is still stuck in my ass. well, its my shit so i have to get rid of it.
* I caught two other project and hope that they will be good on my career.
* i have uploaded a demo on the web and anxiously wait till the buyer gets online and kicks my ass. Yes, i deserve to have my ass whooped although i have worked a lot on this. I hope the client is a lineant one and ignores the extremely technical installation process
 
and what ?
 
Today is December the 17th, Exactly two years later, the final episode of my favourite move was released, I am talking about "The Return of the King (RotK)" of "The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (LotR)"
 
Man, what a movie it was. and how anxiously i waited for that movie…
When i finished watching the movie, i thought that i have no motive to live now… everything that i lived for all those years have been fulfilled. ah… but life continues.
 
Last night i was resting my ass at my work place and i came across a blog by someone who wrote emotional stuff about the Earthquake in Pakistan. Although he wasn’t a Paki yet he was a human and understood the suffering of other fellow humans. I thought it necessary to appreciate the young man on his effort.
 
and what else ??
At the moment i am listening to CALL, a local Hard rock band. (really good)
and celebrating the joy of victories that our national cricket team is giving us.
 
Go TEAM!
 
and its time i disappear
 
See ya.




Just a day, just an orginary day… or is it?

6 12 2005
It is calm today, after a eventful night here at my place.
I was transfered to a different room with my box and stuff and i am supposed to be sitting here for the rest of my life… (at this company)
So, talking about calm; I am damn sure that this calmness is just the beginning of a violent stort that could hit my coastline within the next 24 hours.
The clock is ticking… tick tock… tick tock… tick tock….
 
In the morning, when i was sleeping my brief sleep of five hours, i was dreaming about what i am currently doing ..
I dreamed about the inevitable horror that will flood my life ..
"It is not working…" someone said in my dream.
"It is still not working…" the same person said again..
"the system crashed, whole data is corrupt.." the final voice shook me up from my sleep as my cell phone rang.
 
Shit!
Time to get dressed and run for the office to make sure i don’t hear those voices in reality.
 
As i write those words, i enjoy the final moments of calm that last in my life till Christmas holidays.
 
 
I am doomed. I know i am screwed..
 
The powerful tidal wave could hit any time….




A few words for a nostalgic host…

4 12 2005
He is a radio DJ, I am an occasional listener.
He makes my senses calm so that i could go to sleep !
 
 
After returning home from my work (usually sometime after midnight), i take out some time and listen to a FM radio, that someone gifted me sometime ago…
Since the very beginning, i have admired his way of speech,  his sense of humour, his nostalgic attitude, his knowledge on those topics that we disturbed youth seek answers about …..
In general, I have admired him.
Why?
Because he has made me remember those days when i use to dream a lot and work less (the result is obvious),
He has made me remember those forgotten tastes and cuisines that i have left behind (perhaps for good),
He has made me remember old friends, old school, old college, old YUKKIs ;)…
He has made me remember the buried ME….
 
Who is he?
"He is the friendly neighbourhood spiderman !",
No way, i was joking… No spiderman is related with this posting.
 
His name is Ahmed Bilal. He presents for FM 101. His show timings are 12 AM to 2 AM.
 
What can I say about him, I can’t say anything about him except that he rocks!!!
He is very unlike the current breed of presenters, those hip hop look alikes, he reminds me of a true DESI who has battled himself and his fate to this place.
Is he famous?
Atleast this is not an issue that I should be concerned about, I like his way of talking and thats all i am gonna consider..
 
I would recommed that you give him a shot. Just listen to his program especially the latter half.
I am sure that he won’t disappoint you…
 
Ahmad Bilal, You are Wonderful.
You rock my world.
You have made me turn on the radio that was only occupying some space in my closet…
 
Keep the good things coming.
 
Don’t let me forget those good old days.