Pakistan: Nudists’ next paradise?

22 11 2009

Disclaimer: Don’t take this blog post seriously.

For two/three days I have been watching these banners on various highways placed by the clothing manufacturing association about the scarcity of cotton yarn in the country. This claim has also been confirmed by news reports on various current affairs programs on the TV on the same subject.

Why is the cotton yarn so scarce? The reason cited by the experts was that due to lax regulations and better export opportunities, the yarn manufacturers decided to export their production to the world and kept nothing for the domestic buyers. This resulted in scarcity of the yarn would result in scarcity of cloth.

The impact? yes, shooting up of prices for clothing and eventually the less privileged sector would find it impossible to arrange clothing and they would resort to alternate ways and one of those ways include ‘being a nudist’.

As clothes become more and more scarce, more and more people from various economic brackets would join the ‘revolution’ and be wild … and free! Since the higher society is already longing to strip off in public, they will be joining the party in the early days hence providing more moral support to the movement.

The islamist terrorists will be so ‘shocked’ and ‘ashamed’ by the open sinful display of nudity that they will die of shock (and excessive masturbation). thus bringing peace and foreign nudists to the country. we will have no sugar, no electricity, no clothes but lots of naked people partying in the candle-lit streets….

The shortage of yarn as seen by the alternate view point is that of the ‘conspiracy theorist’s view point’. For example Prophet Zion Hamid will comment on the current situation as:

“The current shortage of yarn is caused by Zionists…. Yes, mark my words boy. Zionists are pure evil, they are pretending to be buyers of yarn offering huge amounts of money to the mill-owners who are actually Blackwater operatives funded by the CIA. This Zionist/Blackwater/CIA alliance is formed to push the Iqbal’s Islamic nation into the dark, bottom-less pit of immorality and we must recognize this danger and take steps to avoid it….” Alongwith Mr. Hamid, the ‘ever-moral’ Rockstar Azmat will nod his head and recite ‘Astaghfar’ whenever the name of Zionists or CIA comes up.

So, you can see how a small news like ‘shortage of yarn in the country’ may have such a life-changing consequences. Though this blog post is just a work of fiction, but from the inside, I long to see our super models marching down the road…. nekkid.


Better late than sorry? or… ?

1 11 2009

This post was inspired by a discussion which i found myself interrupting in.

Today two of my aunts were talking about the current security situation and how it affects the activities at schools. The case in point was a well known school which was closed for the next few days as it was speculated that they received terrorists’ threats. one of my aunt proceeded to explain that the school management called up a meeting with parents and it was voted unanimously that ‘its better to be late than sorry’. so they closed the school for a week or so.

Hearing the ‘its better to be late than sorry’ bullshit, i couldn’t contain myself and interrupted with my own philosophy of pessimism. I presented them with the question: “Lets assume, there is no such concept as ‘late’, all you have to be is to feel sorry” , I continued “whats better? to be sorry today  or be sorry tomorrow?”.

“Lets face it”, I explained in response to their blank faces. “You are gonna get blown up by a bomb sooner or later. Whether at work or at marketplace … or even at home, you will find your fate written on some IED and feeling sorry is the only feeling one can get”. Saying this, i took a deep breath and continued… “So, would you like to be blown up today or tomorrow, or next week… ?”

“Or would you opt to be perished by a more ‘elegant’ way of death – the hellfire missile by a US drone?”, I presented them more choices to die, as if its me who decides their fate tonight.

Although I was not talking out of emotions but rather making fun of the situation that i got myself and my poor aunts into but they were totally lull. the only response i got out of their mouths was a few grunts, and i couldn’t help but smile at the irony.

Though the conversation (rather than a one-way argument) was over, I started to ponder over what i had said earlier. ‘Whether to be sorry today or tomorrow?’

If I had to choose, then under the current scenario, I would rather be sorry tomorrow coz today, i would party hard…. would spend all my savings as it will be of no use to anyone once I am nothing but a a few mounds of flesh and bones lying on the side of a street or rotting in a cockroach infested morgue.

Whats your choice?