Disclaimer: Don’t take this blog post seriously.
For two/three days I have been watching these banners on various highways placed by the clothing manufacturing association about the scarcity of cotton yarn in the country. This claim has also been confirmed by news reports on various current affairs programs on the TV on the same subject.
Why is the cotton yarn so scarce? The reason cited by the experts was that due to lax regulations and better export opportunities, the yarn manufacturers decided to export their production to the world and kept nothing for the domestic buyers. This resulted in scarcity of the yarn would result in scarcity of cloth.
The impact? yes, shooting up of prices for clothing and eventually the less privileged sector would find it impossible to arrange clothing and they would resort to alternate ways and one of those ways include ‘being a nudist’.
As clothes become more and more scarce, more and more people from various economic brackets would join the ‘revolution’ and be wild … and free! Since the higher society is already longing to strip off in public, they will be joining the party in the early days hence providing more moral support to the movement.
The islamist terrorists will be so ‘shocked’ and ‘ashamed’ by the open sinful display of nudity that they will die of shock (and excessive masturbation). thus bringing peace and foreign nudists to the country. we will have no sugar, no electricity, no clothes but lots of naked people partying in the candle-lit streets….
The shortage of yarn as seen by the alternate view point is that of the ‘conspiracy theorist’s view point’. For example Prophet Zion Hamid will comment on the current situation as:
“The current shortage of yarn is caused by Zionists…. Yes, mark my words boy. Zionists are pure evil, they are pretending to be buyers of yarn offering huge amounts of money to the mill-owners who are actually Blackwater operatives funded by the CIA. This Zionist/Blackwater/CIA alliance is formed to push the Iqbal’s Islamic nation into the dark, bottom-less pit of immorality and we must recognize this danger and take steps to avoid it….” Alongwith Mr. Hamid, the ‘ever-moral’ Rockstar Azmat will nod his head and recite ‘Astaghfar’ whenever the name of Zionists or CIA comes up.
So, you can see how a small news like ‘shortage of yarn in the country’ may have such a life-changing consequences. Though this blog post is just a work of fiction, but from the inside, I long to see our super models marching down the road…. nekkid.