When the maulvi lost it

23 08 2009

Due to proximity with my workplace, I seldom go to the Boat Basin Mosque for Friday prayers. In addition to proximity, other good reasons for going there are vastness of the premises, diversity of eating places nearby and above all – A Maulvi1 that is very candid. Yeah folks, instead of hearing the conventional ‘ghusal’ and ‘instanja kay masail’, i get to listen to more social issues and regular bashing of government officials and general public…. The maulvi seems very literate as well and feels comfortable with English.

On the past Friday, I got the chance to go to the place again. I was accompanied by a friend. We reached the mosque almost half an hour earlier than the designated prayers time. The maulvi had just started his speech. I got myself seated at a shadowed spot and started to listen what the maulvi was saying. The topic that he started to discuss was simplicity and how the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) and his apostles spent their days in extreme poverty. He added that the unity among the people in those old days was phenomenal and how people used to exhibit the behavior of selflessness. Saying this, he flipped into the current world and started into the current materialism world.

He added that the current price hike in all the basic items is not because of the genuine shortage of products but because of the joint effort by the producers, distributors and government officials. They consider Ramadan as the month where it is their right to earn more and more profit by squeezing every single penny out of the poor consumer’s pocket. With these earnings, all the culprits go to perform Hajj and self assure themselves of being sin-free. The maulvi was of the opinion that such acts cannot be forgiven by God and even hundreds of Hajjs would be no good for such a crime.

Next, he turned the guns towards us people and our hypocrisy in general. He said that the day Ramadan moon is sighted the mosques seem to overflow with worshippers. Even the morning prayer has four times as much attendees then any other day. He threw the question, ‘Where do these worshippers come from?’, ‘Do they descend from the palm trees located outside the mosque?’, ‘Or do they come from the skies itself?’, this tempo continues till Shawwal moon is sighted and at that very instance, there are hardly a dozen people in the night’s prayers while the rest of the people are out in the markets obtaining ‘eye-tonic’. He specifically emphasized on the term ‘eye tonic’ which he further explained: ‘Eye tonic is what they call those women who are shopping in the markets’.

Once the phoondy topic was over, the maulvi moved towards poilitical issues, He came to energy crisis and bashed the government for allying with the private power production companies and allowing them to form a cartel. He came to politics of water and said that the opposing factions of the ‘Kala Bagh Dam’ want the dam to be built over their dead bodies..  As a response Mr. Maulvi siad:‘Well, you opposers! Get ready to be dead. coz there will be no water to live on in the next five years’… He concluded the topic by saying ‘Had you built a dam earlier, we wouldn’t be this much damned by now’.

I must add that during the whole speech, I noticed smiley faces all around. (yours truly included) A guy who had just came to my neighboring place was getting ready to sit down when he heard something and a hissing laugh escaped his lips. He immediately recovered and looked around apologetically to find me returning the smile.

Once the prayers was finished, I came out to find my companion looking back at me and he said: ‘Did you hear that?’
’Yeah’, I replied. ‘This guy gets frustrated often’.

To finish this post, I would suggest that if you are in Karachi and are somewhere near the Clifton region, Do spare some time to visit the Boat Basin Mosque on Fridays. You might as well get your share of an innovative way of speech by a maulvi who has got some balls!


1 –  Maulvi:  An islamic cleric.





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